Almost 50, an artist, overly sensitive, gay and living in Vietnam. Oh, lord!!!

Most of you know me, some of you do not. I am asked all the time…Why did you move to Vietnam? Why did you move to another country? This blog is about discovering who I am. The good, the bad and the ugly. I do not have a lot of answers because I am still not sure who I am or where I am going even after almost a half a century.

It is true that the experiences you have make you who you are. I would also add that it is the people in your life that perhaps make you more of who you are, directly and indirectly. Let me explain….

I have been very fortunate in my life to have seen so much of the world and smell, taste and feel incredible things…and some not so incredible things. In some ways I feel regret for not going further in my education or reading more, but I honestly would say that the best education has been the people in my life. Why you ask? My teachers, my family, my partner, my friends, the person I met for an hour in an airport, the little old lady who smiled at me when I was angry, the little child who somehow knew I was sad and hugged my leg, our security man that somehow knew that I was about to put my dog down and gave me a hug. I could go on and on and on.

I used to think when I was younger that it was the tenure of a relationship that made it great, but now in my wise old age, it is truly about the quality. Some of the briefest moments of human contact, often without words or clarity have been the most powerful.

Like an alcoholic, I stand before you, raise my hand and acknowledge that I am an overly sensitive man. I fought that, hated that and denied that aspect for a long time. I drank the juice of conformity that being a man, even a gay man, should not be overly sensitive. In fact it is the sensitivity that has made me who I am and given me the ability to not only surround myself with incredible people, but to be a talented artist, a great friend, son, brother and teacher. It is the sensitivity that has taken me places I never dreamed, experience things beyond words, see something nobody else can see and most important feel love, compassion, sadness and joy.

Vietnam has many, many frustrations and it challenges me every day. It is Vietnam and the experience of living here that makes me a better person because I must dig deeper than ever before to feel compassion and to see beyond the ugliness, chaos and lack of understanding . It is the sensitivity that provides the lowest lows, but also the highest of highs and I would not change that for the world.

As I rapidly approach a half century, there are so many people to thank and so many that will never know the impact they have had on me. The best I can do in the next 50 years is to not only fill my life with even more amazing people, but to take the time to thank and show my gratitude when and however I can. Thank you!!!