A New Beginning

It has been way, way too long since my last blog post. I said I would make posts on a regular basis and since moving to Taiwan it has completely stopped. Why???? It has been on my mind heavily lately and expressed this to Michael and he said "You are not challenged anymore." This is a sad, but true statement.

Since moving to Taiwan my life has been more enjoyable in many ways, easier, less stressful. Am I completely crazy to only express myself when I am frustrated? Am I only willing to express beauty and joy when it is matched with challenge and ugliness? Many things have happened to me emotionally since moving to Taiwan and I am in deep introspect as to why I have not posted. Trump getting elected, all the drama and trauma leading up to that and beyond has left me speechless, unable to eloquently express myself. I am saddened at the state of the U.S., the world and left without a lot of hope at times. Even my artistic endeavors have been left to the gutter. It is not that my life is unhappy, but instead without words or methods to express my pains and joys. I do not want to discuss or artistically reveal my anger, but instead the beauty and hope around me living in a foreign land. So what is the problem?

Taiwan has shown me refinement of a culture that I did not see in Vietnam. I have realized that I needed refinement and less chaos in a culture, but that comes at a price. There is no perfect world and when you leave one, you find yourself yearning for what you left. The questions to myself are..."How much hardship and challenge do you need to realize happiness?" "If there is beauty and inspiration around you always, what does it take to see it?" "Every person, in every part of the world has their problems, but can you be sensitive enough to be aware of that?"

I have faced challenges in Taiwan, but of a different kind. My teaching job is the most challenging I have ever had. It is a good thing that the rest of my life is good, otherwise I would have strangled a few children along the way (kidding of course). One must have challenges to grow, to be aware of the good things. I remain confounded by my direction, what I am looking for, my purpose, blah, blah, blah. Is it ok to simply enjoy the present and have a light plan for the future or is it truly necessary to have a solid plan, stick to it and do not waver, defer or change direction? Ugh!!!

Recently, I experienced some of the highest form of joy in my life. I spent two glorious weeks in Hawaii with my family, got married to the man I love of 22 years and got to experience incredible generosity of love of family and friends. The relaxation and fun became secondary. I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people that have moulded me into who I am. I honestly believe that what you give is what you get and I am highly aware that I must have given a lot of good, because I have cried many tears with all the goodness I have been given lately. I am deeply touched, grateful and lucky to be able to say..."My life is good."

There is a lot of challenges ahead for all of us and it is easy to become overwhelmed with the ugliness in the world. Remind yourself as often as possible that you are surrounded by a lot of good people that support and love you. Do whatever you need to do to take yourself out of your reality to become aware that what you have is good. If you need to make changes.....do it.